Monday, April 28, 2008

Do You Trust Your Husband?

Last week my husband was talking about taking Max on a camping trip with other fathers and kids. A daddy and kid only trip. I must have been looking at him funny because he stopped and said "That's okay, isn't it." I hestitated. "Yes..." I answered. "What are you worried about?" he asked. "I'm worried about you managing Max's allergies on this camping trip." "Oh." he replied, "I promise I'll really pay attention to it."

It's not that I don't think he can do it. He just doesn't always think like I do. Assesing every risk. Checking out everyone else's food. Playing out emergency situation in my head. Reading every label. Just last week he came home with a new brand of hot dog. "Did you read the label?" I asked. "Doh!" he replied, "I didn't even think about it." Sure enough the hot dogs contained a lactic acid starter culture. I've tried to contact the company to find out if the starter culture is dairy derived but the haven't called back.

And up until recently he couldn't even remember that Max was allergic to tree nuts. I have heard more than once, "Cashews? Really? He's allergic to cashews? And pistachios? Since when?" Grrrrrr. I believe he does finally have that down as he was looking at new recipes last week and shouted from the other room "Cashews aren't allowed in the house, right?"

I will let him take Max on the camping trip. It would be fun for them. But Daddy will need some allergy boot camp before hand and I'll probably worry the whole time.

How is your significant other at manage your child's food allergies?


1AllergyMom said...

Daddy Day Care Allergy Boot Camp - sounds like a class we could put on girl! ;) I'm right there with you - god love my hubby, but he came home with turkey hot dogs last week that had soy protein "isolate" in them. HE decided at the store that turkey is better than chicken - but the fact is that the chicken dogs we buy DON'T have soy! He could have called me, but didn't. Oh well. They certainly have a bunch of other crap that I have to let roll, but at least E can eat them and my son likes them too - sold!

We've got a new allergy blogger Mom on board in Loudoun - see

Oregon mom said...

So husband asks every time he goes somewhere with our daughter when and how to use the epi-pens and when it's just a "Benadryl moment". We've been doing this for 7 years so you'd think he would have it down. He's pretty good about spying peanuts around us though and remembers about the tree nuts!

Ariel said...

DH is great about everything except cross-contamination issues (luckily, Maya's allergies aren't too severe). Just the other day, he bought himself a quiche from whole foods and I looked over and he was giving her the cheese that was packaged in the container alongside it.

The person I really have to worry about is my MIL, who never reads labels before offering stuff to Maya and can't remember what she is allergic to, anyway.

Modern Allergy Mom said...

I don't know why husbands can't remember to check labels. Recently mine came home with frosting that was processed on equipment with peanuts. Not 3 days later he came home with ice cream and boasted that he checked and it did not have egg in it! It was cookies and cream and obviously contained wheat (another one of our allergens!) I made a spreadsheet the other day to help track all the allergies for our family. I plan to shrink and laminate it for his wallet. For now I will continue to do the shopping.

elisha said...

i just created an account so that i can comment.

zach, age 6, has all the same allergies--and then some. we've known since he was just under 3.

anyway, i just wanted to tell you that, YES, lactic acid starter culture DOES have dairy. i can't remember all the ins and outs of it, but i researched it a few years ago. we were bummed that pepperoni was out.

i hope to be able to comment more.


elisha said...

i posted a couple days ago, but wanted to formally introduce myself and kids.

zach age 6 is allergic to peanuts, milk and eggs, oh and green peas. when he was tested at age 2 he was positive to almost everything they tested. we cut out all the allergic foods and almost went crazy. soy, corn, wheat, chicken, turkey, rye, rice, barley, oat... almost every food in the world! we added a few things back on our own and then when we found a good allergist two years ago, we added back all but the peanut, milk, egg and pea. he carries an epipen at school and i feel like we have his allergies under control. at least on our part. one of the boys in his kindergarten class brought a pb&j to the field trip yesterday, even though a note was sent home reminding parents not to pack peanut.:(

lillian is 1 1/2 and we just had her tested. like owen, she had a contact reaction to sunflower seed, and we cut it out. we did rast testing on her to rule out anything else. she is also allergic to milk and egg. like zach, she tested positive to a bunch of stuff, but our allergist does not think they need to be removed from her diet. we have epipens for her for the sunflower. she loves eggs and cheese, so we have to do some big diet changes for her now.

those are our allergy stories.

our oldest, ben, has no food allergies. he had a hard time giving up peanut butter, but we successfully switched to Sunbutter--one of my favorite foods--but now we are going to eliminate that, for lil's sake.

i appreciate your blog and hope to be a help at times, and also a student at times. this is a long and grueling road--feeding these precious kids--but it helps to have others to ride along with.


Julie B said...

my husband is actually very good at reading labels, as he does the grocery shopping every week.
BUT-he is also Mr. Social at gatherings and seems to forget that he has children, let along one that you have to really watch around food! That freaks me out. I have been letting him take her to a few family gatherings (with hopes that he watches her better when he knows I am not there) and we haven't had a problem until last week when he trusted his sister-who said the ham was safe, that she put nothing on it...BUT he didn't check the label and gave it to her anyway. Both her and her soy-allergic cousin reacted, so we're guessing soy was it. She is still reacting, her poor stomach is a mess.

Sigh. I am really hoping he learned from this...
Good luck at Boot Camp!

3 for Me!! said...

I'm fortunate that my husband has been doing so well with he allergies. We don't have many to keep track of (milk, eggs and peanuts). At first he wasn't on board and wold bring home all orts of stuff that I'd either cook for him or give to neighbors:)

A major change for him was when our daughter had a reaction at a restaurant and we were not prepared with Benadryl and the EPI. He's better at remembering the medications now then I am!!!

He has recently gotten rid of all his stash of peanut foods. His fear is that if we've been both snacking on these "allergy foods" and one of the kids needed CPR we wouldn't be able to help them :) Something to think about.

All Adither said...

My hubs is doing quite well, I have to say...It's taken a while though.

FoodAllergyMom said...

My husband is the worst!!! I don't think it's ignorance of her's more like he thinks if he ignores them they'll go away. He went to KFC the other night and I told him she can't have their chicken (she is allergic to wheat) and he called me from the store to ask "can she have the strips?"! In my head I was thinking "she's not alleric to the bones you idiot!" But he's not an idiot, he is intelligent and fully aware of the situation, that's what's so frusterating. She got her food allergies from him so I think on some level his denial is stemming from guilt. Wow, I didn't realize I needed to vent so badly, thank you for that. :)

mama o' the matrices said...

Oh, the Man has gotten better - at last. It's my own mum who says things like 'oh, is one of them allergic to eggs?' Both of them are, of course. And very, very allergic to 'em. Sigh.

Boot camp would be great - but do they make one for grandmothers?

Oh, and Elisha: lactic acid can be vegetable OR dairy based. Just another example of having to check absolutely everything, all the time....sigh.

Marci said...

My husbands original response to my daughter's possible allergies before she was a year old was, "oh let's keep exposing her to the milk, hummus(sesame), egg, etc. and see if it builds up her tolerance". I thought I could strangle him, divorce him, scream! After our peditrician "scolded" his nonchalant attitude and gave us a demo about the epipen, he started realizing how serious it is. He still seems to brush off things when I get worried, but seeing him battle with his mother about a reaction that our daughter was having made me realize he was an advocate for her. He just doesn't see that I have the same "battle" with him often!